It’s that time of year where I load up on gummy tarantulas and spend many sleepless nights in terror because I watched too many scary movies.
As I make my way through my Halloween movie check list, I have to ask . . . what’s your favourite scary movie? More specifically – your favourite from the greatest decade of them all: the ‘90s? But wait. Don’t answer that question. If you’ve seen enough ‘90s horror flicks you know that question will lead you to your untimely death. (heh heh heh) Just joking. We’re a sweet little paper filled with love and creativity. No mangy psychos here. (heh heh heh)
The ‘90s were a great time for movies in the horror genre. They subverted our love for teen rom-coms and the popular actors in them. They were aware of their predecessors of the 80s and made witty references to those earlier films. And some showed us that all you need is a camcorder and flashlight to scare the literal shit out of an audience.
Here is the low-down on my favourite ‘90s scary movies:
I Know What You Did Last Summer – 1997
IKWYDLS has an all-star ‘90s cast: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar (aka Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Ryan Phillipe and one of my ultimate ‘90s loves, Freddie Prinze Jr.
The unlikely foursome spend a night being typical reckless teenagers – aka drinking and driving. (Maybe MADD had a hand in the financing of this very high-budget anti-drinking and driving campaign?) They end up hitting a man wandering across a dark and winding road. Now instead of calling an ambulance, they worry about how this will ruin their futures and decide the best idea is to get rid of the body and pretend it never happened. #SPOILERALERT: This is a terrible idea. A year later, an unknown figure sporting a rain coat and hook hand is seeking vengeance because – DUN, DUN DUNNNN – they know what you did last summer.
‘90s lessons learned: Don’t dispose of dead bodies – always call the authorities.
Idle Hands – 1999
Idle Hands is a prime example of a horror-movie comedy of the ‘90s. There was just enough blood and gore to make you squeamish, but the campy stoner characters played by Devon Sawa, Seth Green and Elden Hesen (aka the kid in every other ‘90s teen movie) will leave you in stitches.
I feel Sawa wanted to shed his Teen Beat image and let us all know he was more than a Wormer brother. But you’ll always be a Wormer to me, Devon!
He plays Anton Tobias, whose right hand, unfortunately, becomes possessed by the devil. He unknowingly kills his parents and then his best friends before he realizes it is his hand causing the rash of murders in his town. But don’t worry; his friends come back from the dead to help Anton on this adventure. Cue Jessica Alba as the sassy, bass-playing love interest and Vivica A. Fox as the bad-ass high priestess looking to stop the evil and we round out another supreme cast.
‘90s lessons learned: Do not substitute oregano for marijuana.
The Blair Witch Project – 1999
Okay, The Blair Witch Project was horrifying, at the time, because we all thought it was real. Well, I thought it was real. But let’s be honest, I’m a gullible pansy. It was essentially the Paranormal Activity of the ‘90s.
If you are one of the few who has not seen Blair Witch, it is supposedly the found footage of three missing film students. They went missing in Maryland after they foraged into the woods to film a documentary about an urban legend-like story of the Blair Witch.
The shaky camcorder had 13 year old Deanne convinced this was a true story. (Spoiler alert: It’s not, so you can go into watching this with a little less fear.)
‘90s lessons learned: Don’t go camping. Ever.
Scream – 1996
Scream is the ultimate ‘90s horror movie, but I may be a little biased. My best friend and I have watched it so many times we can quote it line for line. Scream was directed by, already crowned horror-master, Wes Craven. Watch closely for the Freddy Krueger cameo!
This movie, most importantly, taught us what we needed to do to survive a horror movie, thanks to Jamie Kennedy’s video-store clerk character, Randy Meeks. 1) Do not have sex 2) Do not drink or do drugs 3) Never, ever say “I’ll be right back.” Because, you won’t.
When 10 year old Deanne saw this in the theatres (how did I get into this movie?) I was like, “Yes, staying alive!” But 28-year old Deanne is definitely screwed. At least I know to run down the stairs instead of up them. But I really need to stop saying “I’ll be right back.”
The great thing about this movie is that it has three sequels that pretty much live up to the greatness of the original – which is no easy feat.
‘90s lessons learned: Always listen to the nerdy video-store clerk and do not trust people with cellular phones.
Okay, now for the important question,a my Yodeller ghouls: what’s your favourite scary movie?
Follow me (@379_Deanne) and The London Yodeller (@YodellerLondon) on twitter to join the conversation. These people did: (and they are still alive, so don’t worry!)
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